


First Kiss

by deathishauntedbyhumans



Series: Anderperry Week 2014 [2]
Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Anderperry Week, Archived From Tumblr, Crying, Cuddling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 11:58:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13007307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathishauntedbyhumans/pseuds/deathishauntedbyhumans
Summary: The silence reigned again for a long while, and then Neil nudged Todd a little and laid down next to him, wrapping an arm loosely around him. Todd didn’t bother to protest. Neil was openly tactile where he was not, even though they both liked physical contact as much as each other. Todd was just scared to initiate it, scared to ask. Especially where Neil was concerned.





	First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Anderperry Week 2014: Day 3. First kiss.

It wasn’t like it was anything new. They had classes, they had study time, and then they had their curfew to get to bed. But something was different, for some reason, and it was putting Neil on edge.

Todd had been quiet all day, even more so than usual. Neil had personally been working on him, trying to make him more comfortable in their group, and succeeding too, for the most part. But it seemed that all his efforts had been for naught, if today was anything to go off of.

Whenever he looked over at Todd, his eyes were cast down, and several times Neil could have sworn he saw tears shining in them. It wasn’t until they were all in their rooms for the night that he figured out what was going on, though.

Neil was half asleep when he heard it, a soft sniffling coming from Todd’s side of the room. He was awake and on-guard almost instantly, and he looked over in the dark, silently listening to the other boy try to control himself.

When it didn’t seemed to be working, Neil shifted in bed, and he could just  _hear_  Todd freeze completely, his breathing unsteady. So much for stealth, he thought wryly.

“You okay, Todd?” he whispered into the darkness. It took a minute before he got a response.

“Go to sleep, Neil.” The whisper was shaky, and ended in a half-sob, and Neil frowned, getting up and padding over to Todd’s bed. 

“Hey… What’s wrong?" 

Todd merely made a small sound and shifted over a bit, so that Neil would have a place to sit if he wanted to. He must have known that Neil wouldn’t just leave it alone, he thought almost triumphantly. (It was hard to feel triumphant with your roommate sniffling beside you, but Neil sure gave it his best.) 

With a gentle touch, Neil placed a hand on his shoulder, his thumb rubbing gently at clothed skin. It took a while, but Todd sighed heavily, and his breathing got a little more normal and a lot less like hyperventilation. Good. That was good. 

"What happened?” he asked gently. 

Todd was silent again, and then he spoke, voice trembling. “It’s nothing… It’s just… My parents, they sent a letter… It was about my brother. All they ever do is talk about him and compare me to him and I’m so  _sick_  of it,” his voice broke and he sniffled once before continuing. “And I’m never good enough and normally I can just brush it off because I have you and everyone but it just  _stuck_ with me today and I just… I can’t deal with it right now and I don’t know why.” He ended in a whisper, and Neil bit his lip. He knew exactly what Todd was going through, understood perfectly how he was feeling. 

“I get it,” he said simply, rubbing his shoulder. And Todd, who would have protested with anyone else, stayed silent. They knew each other well enough to know that neither of them were safe from problems at home.

The silence reigned again for a long while, and then Neil nudged Todd a little and laid down next to him, wrapping an arm loosely around him. Todd didn’t bother to protest. Neil was openly tactile where he was not, even though they both liked physical contact as much as each other. Todd was just scared to initiate it, scared to ask. Especially where Neil was concerned.

Slowly, though, Todd moved closer to him, tucking his face into his neck and sighing softly. Where he was, Neil smiled gently, and continued to rub Todd’s shoulder where they touched.

“You should get some sleep. Keating said we were going to be doing ‘intense learning’ tomorrow… Whatever that means.” Neil felt Todd huff a little against his skin, and recognised it as a soft laugh.

“…'kay. Neil?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay? Here with me, I mean? While we sleep?” The question was halting, hesitant, and Todd flushed deeply as he spoke. Neil only smiled and held him a little closer.

“Course I will.” On a whim, he brushed his lips over Todd’s forehead, and Todd flushed even more deeply. He wasn’t sure what they were, or what this meant for them, but he was willing to let it go for the moment. “Dead Poet’s Honour.”

Todd smiled faintly, and nuzzled into him softly before closing his eyes. After his breathing had evened out completely, Neil kissed his forehead again, with a little more purpose this time. And then, he fell asleep, holding onto Todd as if he could protect him from the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Archived from my tumblr circa 2014. Kudos/comments are love.
> 
> Tumblr: deathishauntedbyhumans


End file.
